Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Justify Yourself

It's expensive to raise a child! It's really tough when you're a single parent. Well, so I've heard. I've never had a kid through multiple marriages, so I can't say by personal experience. But I imagine it's tough on a lot of levels. I'm very content to just imagine, thanks.

Statistics tell me that a single parent must earn $48,840 per year to make ends meet. Full-time minimum wage jobs pay $17,160 per year. Do we need to raise minimum wage? Of course we do. Everyone else working gets a proper cost-of-living wage increase; minimum wage has lagged. More pressingly, however, the thought that surfaces for me is, Solution: Don’t have kids. It’s not hard. If one cannot afford them, one should not have them. It’s simple math. “Because I want kids” is not a valid reason to have kids. If your situation changed after you already had kids, and you had security but that went away, you lost it, laid off, sickness, something, I'm sorry for your loss but please refer back to the solution mentioned above. Nothing in this world is secure. Jobs are not secure. Relationships are not secure. Why risk it? Remember, I already said “Because I want them” is not a valid argument. Those are the rules here. Sorry, I didn't make them, I just follow them. Oh, wait - I did make them. Yeah - not a valid argument.

It’s funny how those of us who are Childfree by Choice (Yes - we actually talk to and support one another and share horror stories - we have to, you left us no choice, you badgered us until we were finally able to find each other) have to defend our decision to not have kids. All. The. Time. No one asks parents to defend their children to HAVE kids, yet their choice is the bigger burden all around… to themselves, to the resources on the planet, to the rest of us here. They say we are selfish to choose a child free life. Is it not more selfish to expect everyone to sacrifice in the name of their desire to have too many kids?

What's my point here? My point is to THINK about the consequences instead of just going on and on about how it's a basic right to have kids. It is said every time anyone brings up the topic of procreation. “It’s my God-given right to have kids!” Oh? Where does your right to have kids end and where does everyone else's right to enough resources and a healthy environment begin? This is an issue of LOGIC. When you introduce God and religion and emotion into it, logic breaks down. There is no logical answer to that question, therefore, I am correct. Logic always wins. Well, it should. Logically.

Did this piss you off? Why? Did it make you think at all? Did you think I was way off base? Good. Tell me so. Let's actually talk about it. Because I am sick and tired of being afraid to speak up about this. It's the elephant in the room. It's the issue environmentalists refuse to discuss.


So let's talk.


  1. I love you. As a mother of five, grandmother of three, I'm not here to judge your choice not to procreate. I never have. I'm also not going to justify my choices to you or anyone else. They are my personal choices and responsibilities. I agree that the planet's population is outstripping the available resources at an alarming rate and that we need to do something to control that. I wasn't that educated when I had children at the time. So, I may not be welcome on your radical new blog, but I get where you're going with it. Wishing you the best.

    1. Kallan, you are always welcome anywhere in my life. I hope I am still welcome in yours. I am not here to judge the past, I am here to educate for the future. This voice will be radical, but it is what is needed so that your 3 grandchildren may have a world as wonderful as we were allowed to have. If judgement comes through in my voice, it is born from frustration and the judgment that I and many other CFs have endured, and it is not on purpose. You'll know when it is LOL. :)

  2. Oh you are ALWAYS going to be welcome in my life.. ALWAYS. It's funny.. my youngest son and I were discussing this whole trophy-hunting issue the other day. He began discussing how he thought that thinning herds was important for population control. I said, ok, then which animals get to live and which have to die? And who gets to make those decisions? If we'd stop killing natural predators like wolves, the deer wouldn't overpopulate. And, if we treated animals as equals, then we'd have to look at human population controls as well. Then, who gets to live and who has to die and who gets to make THOSE decisions? He saw my points. I'm not sure that my grandchildren, no matter how many precautions we take now, will have the luxuries that I had growing up. I believe we may have reached a tipping point, but that doesn't absolve us from trying. I applaud you for taking radical action to save the species.

  3. The breakdown in logic to me comes from those who 'want' a child...perhaps can't physically have a child of their own, but then won't adopt or foster one of the hundreds of thousands of children already here. The selfish decision to ignore the needs of those here because you cannot create a mini-me is beyond any logic in the so-called desire to parent. As for the rest, I struggle with their herd mentality. More often than not, they make me think of lemmings. Using up resources and not thinking of the consequences...running, running, running away from the responsibility....straight off the cliff...
    I love your radicalism.....bring it!!!